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GSMNP: Hiking 0.025% On The AT

November 28, 2015 by Leah Leave a Comment

You guys, I’m in Gatlinburg, the armpit of Tennessee, also known as the Vegas of the South, also known as the grossest place on earth, also known as the white trash capitol of the world, also known as air-brushed t-shirt heaven…shoot me. The thing is, people actually come here to just spend time in this town. What is wrong with them?! We are staying in this town solely for its proximity to Great Smoky Mountain National Park. We wake up early, eat breakfast before the crowds arrive, and head into nature as fast as we can to avoid all the insane crazy idiots who vacation here. Then we hike, come back into this hell hole of abysmalness to eat dinner, and head to the three distilleries in town that give you free moonshine tastings…which brings me to my current state of drunkenness while writing this blog. Moonshine is awesome, how was this stuff ever illegal?! You sidle up to a sticky counter where a very enthusiastic, pimply youth who doesn’t get enough attention at home yells at you and tells you to drink more free liquor. In fact, we discovered you can get totally drunk for $3 in Gatlinburg, $1 tip for each distillery. Old Smoky Moonshine is gross and way too sweet, don’t go there. The Davy Crockett place is much much better. But the Sugarland distillery takes the cake as far as moonshine goes, but get there before 9 pm or you’ll only get 4 samples, and please, who can get drunk on that? The best thing is that they give you tastings in communion cups!!! Like, the old school plastic cups you drink grape juice out of in church, so you feel like this is some kind of holy sacrament Jesus approves of because everyone in the South is a Christian and loves Jesus, so obviously, moonshine.

Today, was maybe the best day of my life, except for being born and marrying Rob, because I got to hike a teensy tiny, not even worth mentioning how short it was, portion of the Appalachian Trail. In fact I just did the math because I’m a nerd and we hiked 0.025% of the entire trail. Holy cow, I’m a section hiker. Tomorrow we’ll hike another 0.04%, so look out, world. We went up to Clingman’s Dome and walked up that God awful concrete hill till we came to the Appalachian Trail and took an immediate left to head to the Double Spring Gap Shelter, which was 2.7 miles from the Dome. This is probably, most definitely the most beautiful stretch of trail I’ve ever been on, plus it holds the distinction of being the highest point on the AT.

We hiked down to the shelter, which was actually nicer than I was expecting, I mean…primitive, but still nice.

Where thru-hikers get cozy

There are SO many rules when hiking through a national park…

What lonely, depressed hikers read on the trail

Two thru-hikers were just packing up and getting ready to leave, so I got to pepper these nice young, bearded men with questions before they set off on the continuation of their journey. While chewing on a mouthful of Clif Bar I learned that they’ve been on the trail for 5 1/2 months and started in Maine. They are taking illegal amounts of aspirin to deal with the day to day body aches involved with this journey. It was recommended that we quit our jobs and hike this trail and not wait till we’re retired because our bodies will crumble and decay if we do this when we’re old. Apparently there was an older man who was attempting the 100 mile wilderness at the same time they were and ended up quitting, which, duh, that’s like the hardest portion of the entire trail, so I think that guy was just dumb to start out there. They were wearing these cool knee supports they found in a hiker box, which I need to order from Amazon immediately because my knees hate me right now. They also said that going back to normal life is going to be really hard after this, but that if they don’t end up getting jobs that’s ok because there’s always the Pacific Crest Trail and the Continental Divide Trail to tackle. Yes, they plan to aim for the Triple Crown. A few days ago they saw some bears on the trail, but the other night it was only 14 degrees and they were really cold trying to sleep. They packed up and headed on down toward Springer Mountain and became our new heroes.

Want to know what tired day hikers look like on the AT? Like this.

We had to stop several times on the way back up so we didn’t die.

We finished up our snacks, checked out the bear cables at the shelter, and headed back the way we came, which was ALL uphill…no big deal. We climbed and sweated our way back up to Clingman’s Dome and decided to avoid the lookout altogether because it was crawling with people, so we stopped at the information center and talked to these two badass women who were volunteers and have hiked all over these mountains. They were amazing and if I could have taken them out for coffee and some moonshine, I would have. We headed back down the mountain and saw a bear, which I was dying to see, but was thinking there’s no way we could get that lucky, to see TWO bears in one year, but we did. Here is our second black bear this year. We crouched down by the side of the road and we watched him forage for acorns without being scared out of our minds because he wasn’t 6 feet away from us, like in Colorado. This guy was a safe distance and we watched in peaceful awe of the adorableness that is a bear butt. Bear butts are almost as amazing as cat’s paws.

I’m really sore. Rob is really sore. We went to the Nantahla Outdoor Center (NOC) at the end of town on our way back and were nearly talked into buying a pair of nice trekking poles for $100 smackeroos. We declined…then as the night wore on and we drank more moonshine, we felt more and more sore. In fact, my knees and my glutes are so sore, I could die. I hiked up a mountain using my ass, people. We thought about those trekking poles and debated the pros and cons, I’m not kidding, we did, even made a list like adulty people. Finally, we ran to the NOC, arriving 3 minutes before they closed to buy a pair of trekking poles that cost as much as the dress I’m wearing to the GRAMMYs this year.

Tomorrow, we hike to Charlies Bunion, also along the AT, which boasts some of the prettiest views you can see in the park…with trekking poles.

To Paris, And Friends, With Thanks

November 25, 2015 by Leah Leave a Comment

There is a small Eiffel Tower that sits on our mantel, maybe 5 or 6 inches tall. One of my best friends and old college roommates was living in Europe, so the other roommate and I went over there to stay with her. We all went on a jaunt to Italy and then Ashley and I headed to Paris for two days of trying to squeeze in as much France-i-ness as we possibly could. It started with the Eiffel Tower, of course. We went all the way to the top and at a little gift shop up on a middle level, I bought a set of coasters with scenes of Paris and this tiny Eiffel Tower.

In all of our awkward 2007 glory…

I’ve never been much into French decor, but this token is one of the things I have that I treasure greatly because it brings back memories of an adventure, of the Louvre, staring tiny Mona Lisa right in those mysterious eyes, seeing Winged Victory for the first time at the top of a massive stone staircase, running past DaVinci and waving, hoping I’d come back to appreciate him more, of pastries and crepes and hot chocolates, of getting sneered at in a cafe because we couldn’t read the menu and, Heaven forbid, asked a question, of parks and flowers, and crossing a roundabout, nearly losing life and limb to see a fountain, of standing before the splendor of Notre Dame and sitting on old pews listening to the mass, getting a sore neck from staring transfixed at the rose window, of staying in a hotel room the size of a shoe box and having to squish against the wall every time we needed to pass each other. There was so much we still weren’t able to see, but I’ve always wanted to go back even though the city was dark, the buildings were covered in centuries of grime, and the people were a stark contrast to the open welcome we received in Italy. And yet, there is something about Paris that enchants, leaves a mark etched in your soul.

I’m so deeply saddened that a city of such beauty has endured such violence within its walls this year. I have nothing to say which hasn’t already been said, just a feeling of emptiness in my gut. The world is in a sad state and I often feel helpless as to what I can do about it, so I sit home and stew, getting angry at uncharitable people who feel we should turn everyone in need away from our borders, yet this accomplishes nothing. However, the season of thankfulness is upon us, so in spite of the horrors in our world, every one of us has the ability to look up and be thankful that we are alive, that we are here to experience what this earth has to give us, whether that be joy or sorrow.

Tomorrow we head to the mountains…from whence our help comes. Nature seems to be the best kind of solace, a balm for the wounds of humanity, opening its arms, arresting us with its beauty, and reminding us of how very small we are. I feel absolutely desperate to get away from here, to be in the middle of nowhere, to look out and see nothing but peaks for miles. We had decided to “opt outside” before it became a thing, and the idea of being away from civilization even for a small patch of time amidst days of frenzied consumerism, makes my lungs and heart feel less constricted and able to breathe easier. Weather/elevation permitting, we’ll be hiking a few trails along the AT where I will either die from happiness or a hungry bear or muscle fatigue…

Through everything the people in our lives make life worth living, connection with others, a brief word spoken in a hard time, a soft touch in a lonely place, and I could not be more thankful for the ones in ours. There are so many who I think about and haven’t seen in years, childhood friends, family members far away, people from church at home…who all at some point poured lovingly into my heart, and even into Rob’s heart too. You are noticed and loved more than you know! There is a young woman I grew up with who I still think of as being two years old, who is backpacking all over the place and figuring out her way in life. Another childhood friend who came out and lives proudly as the individual, beautiful person she is. Women from church whose words of wisdom still ring in my ears, whose loving hugs I can still feel around my arms. High school friends who have gorgeous children, who I used to sit next to in chorus or play volleyball with, who now have successful, fulfilling lives. Family members who live far away who we would kill to have dinner with once in a while. And of course, my best friends, scattered all over the country whose voices always sound like home.

Thank you for being perfectly you, for living so beautifully, and here’s to much joy on Thanksgiving and much happiness this season!!

Can You Hear Me Now? Disconnecting Phones, Hiking Stone Door, & Getting Real For A Sec

October 26, 2015 by Leah Leave a Comment

“I really think that being in nature is a basic human need that we have. It gives us perspective because, when you walk into the woods, or walk through the desert or sit by a river, you realize that you’re only one thing in the great order of things….I know for certain that I myself get incredibly bound up in very minor, ridiculous, temporary conundrums. And obviously there’s nothing wrong with that. I think we have to get bound up in those things….But if you only live in that realm, you are missing out on something that’s essential and illuminating.”

Cheryl Strayed in a recent LA Times article discussing her new book Brave Enough

One thing in the great order of things…

I get really frustrated when I sit in front of the TV. I grew up in a home without cable and never had it myself until I got married and it was part of the binding contract that came with my husband. For him, watching TV is a way to unwind after the daily labor of his very physical job. But for me, the more I watch TV, the more I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I love BBC shows and could sit for days on end engrossed in proper murder mysteries, period dramas, and reruns of QI…but in the end, the TV is a killer of creativity, a way to ignore the world around us, and a silencer of communication with other human beings. If we didn’t have one in our house, I wouldn’t miss it (well, except maybe for movies). In fact, more and more I am noticing the dearth of conversation created by the screens in our home. Our phones get more face time with us than we do with ourselves sometimes. I’ve heard of people setting limits on screen time in their homes and I think it’s wise to be aware of the way technology is changing the way we live and interact with each other. I am a little disgusted with myself over the internal panic that happens when I realize I’ve left my phone at home on a grocery run. There is a false sense of connectedness that comes with a cell phone. The problem is that no matter how much you text someone, if you aren’t having meaningful conversation with that person at some point, you are living in a superficial relationship devoid of actual connection with that individual.

This past weekend, we headed out into nature again in another godforsaken part of TN, and it was a relief to put my phone in airplane mode when we realized we had no service. This, of course, isn’t awesome when you’re trying to get in touch with someone, or need GPS, or have an emergency in the woods…but it is nice to not even have the option of distraction by technology when you’re meant to be appreciating the vastness of the natural world around you. Sitting around a campfire is much more rewarding when you are actually talking to the people you’re with as opposed to distractedly half-listening to them while looking at the latest Facebook posts. There was a sense of reluctant sadness when we finally reached the point of having service and the texts, emails, and notifications started rolling in. I think that lately, being immersed in nature on these weekend jaunts has been a way to reconnect with the neglected parts of myself that have become hidden in daily life, the house work, the job, marriage, the striving that we constantly have to deal with.

Our home away from home

When it’s you, the trees, and the sound of your own footsteps, things occasionally loom into perspective. I enjoy going into the woods alone, but I really love when Rob comes along too because there’s the sense of accomplishing something together, working toward an end goal and making discoveries along the way. This weekend, my body was humbled by the trails at the Stone Door in South Cumberland State Park. We ended up making a 12ish mile loop by taking the Stone Door trail to Big Creek Gulf Trail to Ranger Creek Falls, then on to Greeter Falls, and returning via the Big Creek Rim trail. The gulf trail was peppered with moments of astounding beauty – dry river beds strewn with mossy boulders, waterfalls, brilliant colors that stood out in the damp weather, and ascents that set the heart pounding and the legs on fire.

Entrance to the Stone Door

The Stone Door – a passageway used by the Native Americans

Ranger Creek Falls

Greeter Falls Trail

Upper Greeter Falls

This is probably the most challenging trail we’ve done in terms of inclines, even compared to those in Colorado. The last three miles on the way back, the muscles behind my left knee were in a lot of pain and I’m still not sure what I did to it because I was completely fine the next morning, but seriously, I wanted to sit on a log in the woods and cry for a minute. It also rained for a good two miles, but in spite of the knee pain and ill timed precipitation, I kept looking up through the reds and oranges of fall and feeling so utterly blessed to be tiny ants marching along in the forest.

Pippin, the ranger station cat, leads a life of badassness and feline adventure in the wilds of Tennessee.

Myrle and Maddox enjoy the comforts of our down sleeping bags, preferring that we have the adventures and they have the naps.

A couple of things to note about hiking and camping because my dad accused me of making it all sound so rosy, so I’m going to get real at the end of this blog after you’ve seen all the pretty pictures that make it worth the journey…

Sometimes a trail is really hard and you’re in the middle of it and want to die. Or feel like you’re going to die. Because you’re breathing so heavily on an ascent and then you try to take a drink of water and realize you can’t breathe and drink water at the same time, so you have to make up for that after a sip and you end up sounding like you’re being strangled, but really you’re just trying to not die.
Sometimes you hear a trail is nice and then you go hike it and it’s flat and boring, and you realize you just wasted 6 miles of your life to walk a flat, boring trail with no views.
Sometimes you get blisters or your feet really, really hurt after you’ve walked a lot of miles and you want to throw your hiking shoes over a cliff, like Reese Witherspoon in Wild, but then you realize you need those shoes to finish the 5 miles you have left.
People are smelly. YOU are smelly. After you hike and sweat and sleep in a tent for a few nights and go to the bathroom in the woods for days on end, you smell like a garbage dumpster and look like one too. I take wet wipes and hand sanitizer and a big headband for my gross, frizzy hair, but there’s only so much one can do when a shower isn’t available. This is the reality of the human condition. We are disgusting.
Wildlife can scare you sometimes, whether it be a bear, snake, moose, deer, chipmunk, spider, or leaf you thought was a giant bug. We’ve seen lots of wildlife on our hikes this year. Some of it scared the crap out of us and some of it was totally awesome (or both). Be wise, carry bear spray in appropriate situations, realize you’re on their turf now, and deal with that in the most environmentally friendly way possible.
Injuries can happen, which sucks. The best thing to do is have a first aid kit and to assess the situation with wisdom and smarts. Every root, stump, rock, and slippery leaf poses the risk of a fall, so step carefully. Remember that states like New Hampshire, Colorado, and Utah now have hiker cards you can purchase in case you need to be rescued. These cards will keep you from incurring most of the financially crippling costs that are associated with search and rescue operations.

In my opinion, the benefits of being in nature outweigh these things. There is just too much beauty out there to be chased after, so yeah, it’s rosy in some ways, and totally nasty in other ways…a lot like life.

Woods & Wisdom

October 23, 2015 by Leah Leave a Comment

Today I am relishing the fact that my neighbors seem to be out of town. At approximately 9:52 every morning, a horde of screaming children takes to their backyard and makes the amount of noise a small troop of Vikings would make on an impromptu pillage. They do this until dinner time. It also sounds like ducks, chickens, and other random sorts of poultry are being tortured or chased or strung up in trees. I don’t know. Sometimes I’m on the phone with a coworker and they’re like, “What’s that weird noise I’m hearing?” And I nervously laugh and think, “Oh nothing, it’s just a pack of wild, screaming children who’ve been left outside unattended, you know, like in Lord of the Flies.”

It’s a really stunning autumn day here. The weather is low 70s, sunny, with early leaves blowing lazily through the air. Lacy, our old lady dog, was struck prone by a sunbeam and is laying in the grass in such a way that I occasionally feel the need to check and make sure she’s still breathing.

This has been an interesting week. Last weekend we spent a day with always-missed and much loved friends, then went to Rock Island State Park which was in the middle of freaking nowhere, Tennessee. The trails were short, but the waterfalls were kind of mind blowing considering the largest one was actually an accident when TVA created the dam. Talk about one heck of a pretty accident!

Then I went to hear Elizabeth Gilbert speak (with Ann Patchett), following a particularly uninspiring few days, and it felt like I’d struck a vein of joy. The past couple of days I’ve been trying to sit on my little raft and ride the wake of inspiration that follows her wherever she goes. Some of the few things that stood out amongst the deluge of wisdom:

She loves beautiful shoes so much that she will purchase a pair even if only one of the shoes actually fits the way it’s supposed to. This is encouraging because even an amazing, famous author like her can be taken down a notch by a pair of Dior shoes.
We must become scientists of our own experience.
Assume that everyone you encounter has something fascinating in them.
Unused virtue/love/creativity is not benign.
Check in with the richer, more interesting part of yourself. Your soul versus your ego.
You only have to be 1% more curious than afraid to do the things you want to do. This one is huge for me. New goal: live a life of curiosity and wonder.
You can’t push darkness out, you can only grow light.
There is honor in supporting yourself while you honor your work. You can still put the work first while you have a job and a financial support beneath you. I really loved this advice, particularly living in Nashville, because there is this stigma here that unless you are really suffering for your art/musicianship/whatever, then you are not a serious artist/musician/whatsit. She advised to never go into debt because of your art, but to make your art alongside your job, honoring the creative process and prioritizing it while still being a responsible individual.
Once you’re wealthy, you just don’t have to give a sh*t about what other people think. She openly talks about the success of Eat, Pray, Love and how it’s given her the ability to do whatever the F she wants without caring what anyone else thinks. There must be so much freedom in that. New goal: stop caring so much about what other people think.
One of her goals in life is to walk for a year. Am contemplating calling her up to see if she’d ever feel like hiking the Appalachian Trail together just for kicks.

This weekend we head up to Stone Door on the South Cumberland Plateau with some friends for more camping, hiking, and soul refreshment. Hoping the weather holds!

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